CM10: DNS

Yes, peeps! It's true.

I will not be starting at the marathon this weekend. My running season this year is pretty much DONE, finished.....bu-bye!

My knee has been giving me a lot of crap since my pre-20 mile long run weekend. It has not stopped. I have been through 3 full weeks of PT and starting my 4th week tomorrow. The pain, clicking, locking, and stiffness is just getting to me.

I have had a MRI last week. It didn't show anything clear for a meniscus tear so I had a cortisone injection this afternoon. The injection brought 8 glorious pain-free hours before the pain came back like a b****! But it was localized in the joint where most of my pain has been coming from.

I should know what the next step is by Wednesday when I call back with a status update to my doctor. I want to run to running...period. This weekend will be tough, but I know that I have couple of great friends coming into town and I plan to put 110% into making sure that this is THEIR weekend. I don't want to feel sad about this. It's time to move on and take control as much as I can.

I plan to avenge this marathon and make 2011 the best running season ever. I promise!

Still no running.....

...and I still have the knee pain. I also have less than 2 weeks until the Chicago Marathon.

I have put down two weeks of PT so far. I am also on strong pain meds too, but still have the pain. My left knee clicks, locks up and tightens up when I sit down for long periods of time. I can't go out and have out to have a great time without waking up the next morning in extreme pain. I even wear a knee brace as well to keep my patella stabilized.

I am getting very scared. This is my third attempt to do a FULL marathon and second attempt for the Chicago Marathon. I am so frustrated!

All I know is that I will have get a MRI soon. I just would like some closure with this. I don't like waiting...period. I am a patient person 'cept for when it comes to stuff like this.

Starting the taper early....

...because there would be no 20 mile this time.

Instead, I am dealing with another injury once again. It means that there's a pattern here. For every marathon that I have trained for, there's always an injury of some sorts. One of them has allowed me to run the full marathon, but the rest of the time it has caused me to drop down to a half-marathon or drop out of the event. In fact, I was waiting for shoe to drop for this marathon and see which body part it is this time. This time around the injury occurred after my 18 miler. I was lucky, but it still sucks.

The injury that I am dealing with is Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome aka Runner's Knee. I have been dealing with my knee locking and hurting. Right now, I am starting some Physical Therapy and working to feel better enough to run the marathon in three weeks. I have been doing a lot of cycling for cross-training. I also have been hitting the pool for some pool running as well.

I am optimistic about doing the marathon. I just want to complete it. I will throw all time goals away and just focus on finishing at a decent time.

3 weeks until marathon day!

It's Deja Vu all over again....

...but it's on the OTHER knee. Yes, fellow bloggers, this Firefly is having KNEE issues again. It's a TOTAL repeat of the previous knee issues that started after P.F. Chang's in January.

And what is this strong Firefly going to do?

I am not going to sit and cry until puddles are made near my feet.

HELL NO!

I am going to work with my chiropractor and learn from the previous PT visits. I am going to ICE and ICE some more until I can not stand it. I am going to work on my cross-training to strengthen the weak muscles near the knee and quads. I had a very good massage yesterday at the Chicago School of Massage Therapy (was still in a total relaxation/snooze mode when he worked the ITB good).

I also hiring a drill instructor to help me out.

Not that one.

This one!

I am a Firefly on a mission. A mission to heal right so I can start my HM training - for the Chicago Half Marathon on September 9th and run WITH Josh. Josh needs his running partner back.

Gotta love new ways to deliver pain meds

On the other hand, taking it off after 4 hours on my knee is a BITCH!! PT session was not too bad today. BTW, anyone want a beer? Read this.

Plus the world is ending as we know it when Krispy Kreme is coming out with WHOLE WHEAT DONUTS!!

To my orthopedic doc....

Please, please fix my right knee. It has been giving me a lot of pain. I can not walk on it lately without giving out on me. I just want to SCREAM. I promise to get out of denial and do what needs to be done especially if it will get rid of the extra 3-4 lbs of fluid that does not want to go. To my blogger friends, I will post an update on this post this afternoon once I receive the results. Come back later...please! Update: Well, there's good news and there's BAD, bad news. Here's the whole scoop:

1. NO surgery....yet. (see below) That's the GOOD news!
2. The doc found wear and tear damage on my meniscus, but not enough to warrant surgery....yet.
3. My bad ass, very naughty, mother f***er, does not listen to me, hurts like a bitch IT band (you get the point!) showed a lot of inflammation in the MRI, which is another contributing factor to my pain. Well, you can say now that it's BOTH issues that are bothering me with the IT band being the worst (I beg to differ on that!)
4. Start PT as soon as I get myself in to be seen (UPDATE: 1st appointment is the morning of March 6th)
5. The doc told me that I can not run for at least 6 weeks. In fact, I was placed on desk duty - NO walking around - for that same amount of time so I can allow my knee to rest properly. (Can we say drive this Firefly NUTS?!)
6. If my knee does not heal or improve during the 6 weeks, I will be getting a referral to a Ortho surgeon for an arthoscopy consult.
7. I purchased myself a new knee wrap with the doughnut hole for my patella under the advise of my ortho doc to help with the progression of swelling in my knee and lower quad from the meniscus/IT band crap.
8. I lost 1/2 lbs of the damn fluid in my legs when I put myself on the scale. (Yayyyy!! More good news!)

Well, I am sitting here at my desk right now trying to be good. I will be pampering myself tommorow by getting my hair done in the morning. I have a very important weekend in store when I leave Sunday morning to head to Chicago for the major important job interview. Plus I get the opportunity to meet Josh's mom on Sunday for brunch so I really need to look good (even though someone will beg to differ on that part.)

BAD, BAD knee....

...and NOT happy about it. At all. Period. I had my orthopdic appointment this morning. I thought I would just walk in and out with a cortisone injection. Ah...no! It did not work that way. Not at all. I walked out instead with two appointments - one for an MRI and one to follow-up on Thursday with the orthopedic doc. It turns out that the damn IT band diagnosis may be COMPLETELY off by a long shot. HUGE shot! In fact, it's WORSE than an IT band injury. Right now, I wish it was just a very bad IT band injury. Instead, I might have torn the lateral side of the meniscus on my right knee. In fact, there's edema right above the knee, which is sign of fluid in the knee - from what the doc said. He compared both knees and noticed it right away. FUCKING GODDAMNIT!! UGH!!!!!!!!! All I want to do is fucking RUN...period. I want to be able to run with my boyfriend in Chicago. I want to run my next race soon. I HATE fucking sitting still...period! I can not walk around normally no longer than an hour without pain. Going down stairs are a fucking joke (as Josh will tell you since he lives on the TOP floor of his apartment building with NO elevator). It just SUCKS right now. UGH!! Thank goodness for my very understanding and patient boyfriend, who listened to me vent and cry on the phone after the appointment because I was SO upset with the news. My MRI is scheduled for tommorow morning up at the crack of dawn at 6:15 am. My follow-up appointment is Thursday morning, which is what I wanted so I can get the results before flying to Chicago on Sunday morning. There's nothing I can do right now 'cept wait. NO lower body weight training! NO biking! Just light on the eliptical and some swimminng (which I can't do jacksquat..not a swimmer!) Right now, I need get myself together for tonight's dinner with my mom (FINALLY) to break the divorce and new boyfriend news to her AND meet her new boyfriend (Thank GOD he's going to be there..I will need it!). This is first guy that she had me meet so far since my dad's passing almost 2 years ago. She has taken her time to get back out there and happy for it. It's just PLAIN WEIRD to know that my mom is dating again. Sorry, but it's easier to bear a sibling dating vs. a parent. At least to me. I am taking time to get used to the idea. I am sure my mom will be the same with me when I tell her my news...both of them. I have asked my dad for A TON of strength right now......on top of the knee shit! Well, that's all of the venting that I am doing...for now. Time to me to finish laundry and take my frustrations on the bathroom tile cleaning. UPDATE: Bathroom is SO clean now. Plus my dinner talk with my mom about the divorce and "introducing" her to Josh. I did not get to meet her boyfriend yet, who had to work late. I feel SO much better now...and the huge monkey is off my shoulder. (GO HOME, MONKEY!)

FINALLY got a BIG bite....

....from the Chicago job search this morning in the form of phone call. It was one of first places that I applied to and received a reply. It was a Security Supervisor position, which was something that I am looking for as a form of a career advancement for myself. I am very happy about this opportunity. It will take place on Monday, February 26th. I will fly on the day before so I can be ready and relaxed before the interview. I hope to get a few more interviews lined up in the meantime as well for that same day to save money on airfare. I will definitely take the time to write those follow-up letters for companies that I am interested in and see what happens. I am starting to feel that the hard work has really started to pay off at the end.

This upcoming week will REALLY fly by with this interview coming up. It makes the distance away from Josh much easier for me. Both of us are dealing with possible career moves with his interview he had today to this upcoming interview I will be having. Everything's SO exciting right now. I am praying that this good luck will continue because I am in need of it. I find it SO ironic to get this phone call because I was talking to a fellow blogger about it last night.

Speaking of prayers, I have two people who I know that are in the need of them. First, it's my ex's family who's dealing with recent news that his grandmother's admission to a local hospice for Congestive Heart Failure. He visited her and seems comfortable right now. She's 93 years old and lived a full life, but it's not that easy to bear for my ex's family.

The second set of prayers are for my co-worker, Brad, and his family. He's one of my good co-workers who has been there for me during this job search process. He's a mentor to me and someone I have sought advise from. He's dealing with heart rhythm issues and was admitted once again for problems. He has a very dicey case where it's potentially fatal. I do not know the status of his issues right now. I am just hoping he can survive from it.

I made an appointment for my knee again with the same orthopedic doctor on Monday morning. I will be asking (or BEGGING) for a cortisone injection where there's a HUGE flare-up. The exercises that he gave me a flaring-up the knee instead of getting better. I can walk for a while for exercise, but bothered by pain afterwards. Oh well. I hope this appointment will help. I need it.

That's all for now.