Still no running.....

...and I still have the knee pain. I also have less than 2 weeks until the Chicago Marathon.

I have put down two weeks of PT so far. I am also on strong pain meds too, but still have the pain. My left knee clicks, locks up and tightens up when I sit down for long periods of time. I can't go out and have out to have a great time without waking up the next morning in extreme pain. I even wear a knee brace as well to keep my patella stabilized.

I am getting very scared. This is my third attempt to do a FULL marathon and second attempt for the Chicago Marathon. I am so frustrated!

All I know is that I will have get a MRI soon. I just would like some closure with this. I don't like waiting...period. I am a patient person 'cept for when it comes to stuff like this.

A Shot of Delayed Running

Well, I definitely got two different "shots" today. One in the form of cortisone shot in one of my ankle sub-joints. Another form of a shot of being hit with another delay for my return to running.

As of the first "shot", I had another visit with podiatrist this afternoon to follow-up on my bad ankle/foot issue. The issues started up slowly again on Sunday and increased yesterday. I made the decision yesterday to make the appointment. I did not want to put it off at all.

I was completely f***ing scared about the appointment. I knew that I would end up with cortisone injection because I have not improved. During the appointment, my doc confirmed my fears. He was gentle this time when I had it done by doing the lidocaine first and slowly injected. After the first injection, the doc had me keep wiggling my foot to get the injection move around the joint. He also suggested that I walk around as well. I waited a couple of minutes before I got up. As I took a couple of steps, I felt my blood pressure DROP and immediately felt dizzy. I then walked slowly back to the exam table. I then lowered my head to bring the blood back into my head. My doc then walks back and asks if I was okay. I said no and explained that I felt lightheaded. He then put the table down and allows me to lay down.

I then had the doc to inject the cortisone into my ankle once the numb. Once he was done, he told me to ice my ankle and take it easy tonight. He also told me to come back in two weeks, which will involve NO RUNNING until then. I want to get back into running again. I also have been focusing on getting ready for the LSAT and applying for law school. I have less than 2 months before the exam and I want to succeed. I need to bring my score from 135 to a minimum of 156. I am willing to put in the work as much as I do in my running.

Need...to...stay...motivated...BADLY!

Yes, peeps. It's been quite a while since I have written a decent post before the big move. I need to get my butt off the couch and write.

Well, I am dealing with another ankle sprains. I am living up my name as being the Queen of Ankle Sprains. The nasty fall I had during my long run in Minnesota has brought a bad side effect. The gash has healed, but the swelling in my left foot and ankle did not go away. I had a lot of pain when I attempted to run on the treadmill....after I finished. I finally went back to the doctor and had it taken a look at. It did not take long for my doctor to ask for an x-ray.

No fracture...THANK GOD! I am going through another familar road. I have done it before. I can still do cross-training on the recumbent bike to maintain endurance. NO running for TWO WEEKS. I have my 20 miler at the end of the two weeks. I do not know if I will be able to do it. I hope to be able to it. Only time will tell.

To be completely honest, I am scared. I want to complete this marathon. I have told my doctor this. Thank GOD that he's a runner and completely understands. I have to stick with the plan and wait to see what happens.

I need to be motivated!

Realize that the journey to the center takes place within your own mind. -Matthew Flickstein, Journey to the Center

It's Deja Vu all over again....

...but it's on the OTHER knee. Yes, fellow bloggers, this Firefly is having KNEE issues again. It's a TOTAL repeat of the previous knee issues that started after P.F. Chang's in January.

And what is this strong Firefly going to do?

I am not going to sit and cry until puddles are made near my feet.

HELL NO!

I am going to work with my chiropractor and learn from the previous PT visits. I am going to ICE and ICE some more until I can not stand it. I am going to work on my cross-training to strengthen the weak muscles near the knee and quads. I had a very good massage yesterday at the Chicago School of Massage Therapy (was still in a total relaxation/snooze mode when he worked the ITB good).

I also hiring a drill instructor to help me out.

Not that one.

This one!

I am a Firefly on a mission. A mission to heal right so I can start my HM training - for the Chicago Half Marathon on September 9th and run WITH Josh. Josh needs his running partner back.

Pressing on....

...with the move. Another room - a BIG closet done. Two rooms done. 4 more to go. 1 PT session down. Hurt like HELL. I felt much better BEFORE the session. Damn IT band massage. UGH! 10 days until the big move. 3 more days until Josh arrives here to help me out and see my big hometown. I told my kids the news on Sunday and was very hard to do. It did not come without any tears. My daughter's excited to come visit Chicago especially after she received her new baby doll last night from American Girl. (But I think she's geographically challenged right now. Need to work on that.) My son will take some time to get digest the information since he's a little bit older. I will allow him to the time, but I got some outside help to assist me with him. I hope it helps. But he did like his new Sony PSP (I am an awesome mom!) They get to meet Josh on Sunday when I pick them up from their dad's house. We are still working on the details of the fun day. I finally met my mom's boyfriend last night, along with my kids. He's nice, but like my kids will be feeling, it will take some time to get used to it. I am in their shoes right now so I know how it feels to meet someone else that's not your dad. How ironic! I know that my mom's happy right now. At the same time, I miss my dad and the feelings are still fresh right now. Back to work for me. 6 work days left for me. Work is a little bit a refuge right now and gives me time to rest....and work on my homework.

BAD, BAD knee....

...and NOT happy about it. At all. Period. I had my orthopdic appointment this morning. I thought I would just walk in and out with a cortisone injection. Ah...no! It did not work that way. Not at all. I walked out instead with two appointments - one for an MRI and one to follow-up on Thursday with the orthopedic doc. It turns out that the damn IT band diagnosis may be COMPLETELY off by a long shot. HUGE shot! In fact, it's WORSE than an IT band injury. Right now, I wish it was just a very bad IT band injury. Instead, I might have torn the lateral side of the meniscus on my right knee. In fact, there's edema right above the knee, which is sign of fluid in the knee - from what the doc said. He compared both knees and noticed it right away. FUCKING GODDAMNIT!! UGH!!!!!!!!! All I want to do is fucking RUN...period. I want to be able to run with my boyfriend in Chicago. I want to run my next race soon. I HATE fucking sitting still...period! I can not walk around normally no longer than an hour without pain. Going down stairs are a fucking joke (as Josh will tell you since he lives on the TOP floor of his apartment building with NO elevator). It just SUCKS right now. UGH!! Thank goodness for my very understanding and patient boyfriend, who listened to me vent and cry on the phone after the appointment because I was SO upset with the news. My MRI is scheduled for tommorow morning up at the crack of dawn at 6:15 am. My follow-up appointment is Thursday morning, which is what I wanted so I can get the results before flying to Chicago on Sunday morning. There's nothing I can do right now 'cept wait. NO lower body weight training! NO biking! Just light on the eliptical and some swimminng (which I can't do jacksquat..not a swimmer!) Right now, I need get myself together for tonight's dinner with my mom (FINALLY) to break the divorce and new boyfriend news to her AND meet her new boyfriend (Thank GOD he's going to be there..I will need it!). This is first guy that she had me meet so far since my dad's passing almost 2 years ago. She has taken her time to get back out there and happy for it. It's just PLAIN WEIRD to know that my mom is dating again. Sorry, but it's easier to bear a sibling dating vs. a parent. At least to me. I am taking time to get used to the idea. I am sure my mom will be the same with me when I tell her my news...both of them. I have asked my dad for A TON of strength right now......on top of the knee shit! Well, that's all of the venting that I am doing...for now. Time to me to finish laundry and take my frustrations on the bathroom tile cleaning. UPDATE: Bathroom is SO clean now. Plus my dinner talk with my mom about the divorce and "introducing" her to Josh. I did not get to meet her boyfriend yet, who had to work late. I feel SO much better now...and the huge monkey is off my shoulder. (GO HOME, MONKEY!)