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Monday, January 08, 2007

Firefly's Sad News...

...and I am ready to finally come out with it. This is very difficult to talk about, but I am ready to be very open with what's going on with my life right now. I know that I have a great, supportive group of blogger friends that I can talk about this with. **sigh** **gulp** My husband and I are ending our marriage and filing for divorce. As you have read in previous posts in November, I have been dealing with problems in my marriage. Since those posts were written, things have been not improved. Within two weeks of writing those posts and doing a lot of soul searching, I made the decision that I seriously needed to make changes in my life...and quickly. The only thing that I can say is that my soon-to-be-former in-laws told my ex-husband that they would have been surprised if our marriage lasted 5 years and not surprised that it only lasted this long. I was VERY upset when he told me that. It took me an extra 10 minutes to get the full emotion of what they said to sink in. On the other hand, I received a lot of great support from Josh during this difficult time. He has been a good ear to listen to my vents, fears, frustrations, and other garbage that I have been dealing with. I also have other great off-line friends who have been supportive during this time too. Once I made the decision, it took me over two weeks to get the courage and strength to tell my husband. I was able to get the courage to ask for the divorce about a week before Christmas during a rough counseling session. I do not wish to go through the details, but aftereffects of this coming-out was very difficult and rough - at time very scary with several sleepless nights especially during the last week before my last long run. I received a lot of great support from Josh during this difficult time. It has taken me another two weeks before I come out with the news to the Chicago NYE group on NYE. It has taken me another week to come out with all of you. All I ask from all of you is four things. 1. Support and LOTS of it! 2. Do not judge! It is something that I am not looking for right now. 3. Listen and allow me to vent. 4. Privacy at this time. I have most of the paperwork done, but still have some minor details to work still. I will work on the rest of the paperwork when I return home from Phoenix. Speaking of ex-husbands, please keep my children's step-mother, Stacey, in your prayers. My ex-husband #1 called me this morning and told me that she's in the hospital with problems with her heart and diagnosed with SVT. On top of that, she's now about 4 months pregnant with their first child together. I was very supportive for him and spent time with the kids so they could get their minds off of this situation. I had a lot of problems during my two pregnancies so I know where she's at and how she's feeling. My main objective today was to help him focus on his wife and I was with the kids. The kids and I saw "Charlotte's Web" this afternoon, which was very good. Well, I am finally heading to bed. I will hopefully do some cross-training today and then heading out with Danielle to Cold Stone tonight too. This is going to be an easy week for me before the half-marathon.

28 comments:

toughcookie7 said...

That stinks -- I'm sorry to hear it. But it seems like you're making the right decision. One good thing about running is it will keep you relatively sane through all of this.

::hugs::

WannaBe5Ker said...

((((((peace)))))))

It is good you have your running to focus your brain on something positive right now. I feel for you.

Prayers to your ex's wife:-(

Taryn said...

Wow, what a way to start '07, right? Prayers are with you, keep your chin up and believe in your decisions... xo-T

Wes said...

From the vibes I was getting from you I kind of suspected what was going on. I'm entirely confident that you are going to do what's best for you!

1. Support and LOTS of it!

Unconditional support

2. Do not judge! It is something that I am not looking for right now.

That won't be a problem. I am not without sin.

3. Listen and allow me to vent.

Hee hee. We are a captive audience, all ears.

4. Privacy at this time.

Let us into your life as little or as much as you want. We will take and help out with whatever we can.

We will keep all of you in our prayers.

Jess said...

Divorce is the brave decision -- you should be proud of yourself that you are courageous enough to make the hard choice. It's better to end something that is not right than to suffer through it and make your life miserable.

It may be a difficult way to start the new year, but in some ways, it may be the fresh start you need; we're all here for you and only think the best things of you!!

Kurt said...

I will be wishing the best for you and all concerned this year. Keep on running this year. I hope things go well for you and that you find some joy and peace with your decisions and changes you having going on.

We are always here to support you no matter what. That is the beauty of friends. Unconditional support and we all need that at different times in our lives.

Pat said...

You will get through this. We'll keep you and your ex's wife in our thoughts.

Pat
Arizona, USA

Laurie said...

((((Denise))))

I too had a sneaking suspicion that this was on the horizon. I am so sorry to hear that it is true. You need to do what is best for you and your happiness. You will always find a supportive audience here. Take care of yourself.

Neese said...

i'm sorry things are unsteady right now but this will give you a clearing for a peaceful life, it seems, take care

Full Metal Lunchbox said...

You are right, Denise.  Based on what I'm seeing here in these comments, you do have some wonderful friends!

By the way, I'm sorry I'm only now getting to your blog.  Work has been particularly horrible this morning.  I'll still call you later as planned.

ILYMTICS.

carmen said...

Oh Firefly...I'm very saddened by what you are dealing with at this moment but even so...I'm awed by how strongly you are coping with it and sticking to your running. You are a very strong individual.

This post alone revealed to me how kind of a person you are as well.

May the Holy Ones be with you and the ex's wife.

Don said...

This is your community, you are right to ask for support here, and you got it kiddo.

p.s. have a GREAT race!

Kristi said...

Denise,
I think most of us here in blogworld knew that you were going to tell us this sooner or later. I'm glad you finally found the strength to let us help you through this.
I think I speak for all of us when I say that we've got your back on this. Whatever you need chica...you gots it.
Kudos to you for having the strength to find your way out of a very difficult situation. I know you'll get through it!

Marty said...

Take care Firefly. I know you will find that marathon strength to get through this tough time!

Marty

Anne said...

You've got a lot of people pulling for you. Do not despair!

teacherwoman said...

I am so sorry. When you need to, vent. When you are ready, feel free to open up and share. And don't worry, you will not be judged by me. Everything happens for a reason and this may be for the best. I wish you the best in this hard time. *hugs* Stacy

Angie said...

((hugs)) only you can decide what's right for you.

i hope your ex's wife will be well.

Charles said...

I can't even imagine how tough things seem right now, but you obviously have friends who care about you here and will support you.

Also have faith in your decisions and that by making the hard choices, things will get better.

Stay strong and we will all be here for you :-)
Charles

Danielle said...

Like I told you last night, since I hadn't had a chance to see this yet, I wasn't totally surprised based on some of the things you have hinted at and it's good for you to make the decision that is going to be best for you. You can't stay in a situation that is making you unhappy. Life is way too short for that. And we're all here to help you get through it. I told you I'm here whenever you need it. I've been through this with a few other friends too and have gotten good at listening and giving whatever kind of support is needed through this difficult time.

Nat said...

We're all here for you, whatever you need. You're a strong person! Good luck at your race, I'll be thinking about you and you'll do great!

runnergirl said...

Denise,

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce! We are all here to support you and many of us have been through it, too! You are not alone.

Full Metal Lunchbox said...

It was nice talking with you on the phone recently, and I especially liked the text messages you sent me last night.

Hang in their Firefly.  I honestly don't know anyone as in control of their life as you are with yours.  You know what you are doing and I greatly respect that.

Lora said...

This too shall pass....and you'll be that much stronger for it!

Big hugs to you!! Remember to only keep supportive people around--life is way too short!!

Nicole said...

Big Blogger HUG! If you need anything we are here and venting is always welcome!

Hang in there.
Nicole

Tara said...

Hugs, hugs, hugs!! I echo everyone else's sentiments...you are a rockstar and will get through this!!

Running Rabbit said...

Chin up! Ditto on the above!!!

Ryan said...

I am at a loss for words, but I can only say that I know you will pull through. Hang in, keep heart, you will get through this difficult time.

spearsbr said...

Sorry to hear about the marriage issues, sometimes things just don't work out. Hugs for you from us!